My Turn To Speak

My children had a meeting yesterday. The oldest lead the meeting. They had to take turns talking. They could only speak if they were holding the wooden fork.

They have a space they share, and they were discussing how to work together  in that space. They talked about what they expected from each other, and what  they did not like.  I sat in the other room, so I would not interfere.  I want them to learn to speak for themselves, and not have me play referee.  I want them to listen and not interrupt when someone else is talking.  I want them to be quick to listen and slow to become angry.

The wooden fork was passed around and everyone had a chance to talk and to listen.

I like to show my children I love them by doing things for them. Showing my children love through acts of service; doing their laundry, cooking for them and cleaning their rooms. My friend Rebekah Crill in California told me that I was actually doing a disservice to my children by not training them to take care of themselves. I was not teaching them to be independent, or self reliant. In a sense I was treating  them like babies and handicapping their future.  Either they wouldn’t know how to do anything, or they would expect someone else to take of of them, and clean up their messes.

My children do their own laundry now, on their assigned day. They are learning to cook, clean and to speak up. I am learning to love them by letting them take care of themselves.


6 responses to “My Turn To Speak

  1. You go, girl!
    It’s hard to see ourselves doing a disservice to our children when “acts of service” are OUR “language of love”. It’s so cool to find other ways to express our love to others. (hard, but good!)
    Rebekah Crill

  2. Great act of love………….

    • Wow Mother, you did it! You made a Gravatar!!
      And thank you for teaching me how to make bread, and chili and soup. Remember when the lady I babysat for complained to you because I didn’t know how to make canned soup? And you told her I made home made soup at home.

  3. No one told me that my mothering was going to need to grow and change just like my children.
    My daughter had a teacher in 6th grade who taught the class how to argue effectively. Needless to say it was a challenging year for all of us – but I am so thankful to that teacher. It made my daughter’s teenage years more bearable and she became the teacher to my son.

    • I didn’t realize how much I was changing with my children. Thank you for your comments. Do you have ideas what guidelines the sixth grade teacher used? I Like that idea. Teaching how to argue effectively.

      • You know, he used the same guidelines that are used to teach students how to debate – and he really worked with them to take the emotion out of their arguments and to use humor to defuse hot situations. I’ll never forget the time my daughter told me not to get my panties in a bunch. The skills were ones I realized I needed to practice myself!

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